stress

Rashee Jackson

Stress

When I think about stress, I think about a few things. Most of the time I consider myself to be stressed. I tend to worry a lot about things that aren’t in my control. I’ve gotten better over the years, to where now I think just more about the things I can control. When I was a young child I remember my mom sent me and my sister to live with my grandma. It would only be for a few months until she moved from Chicago to Memphis. I still remember thinking, I had never been without my mom before. I wondered if she was ok, what she was doing, and even if she was thinking about me. When she finally moved down, she had no job. So I also had to struggle for a while which I was not used too. It was the saddest thing the year I woke up for Christmas with no presents under the tree.

I’m currently having a conflict with myself. For some strange reason I feel like I’m losing a fight with my ego. Mostly meaning I know what I want to do but something keeps telling me I would regret it. I even know I won’t regret it, I just have been thru a similar situation before and it took so much time to recover, and I don’t even know if I ever truly recovered. So as I sit back and waste time knowing something isn’t going to work, I feel lost. Even though I know one day it’s going to happen one day and I won’t be able to control it. Part of it I believe comes from my control issues. All I do know is I want to be happy again. The kind of happy where I woke up every day feeling great, and wondered what the world held for me. My life now isn’t horrible but I don’t feel like it’s my own and at any given second it can be stripped away. I know what I need to do, I just don’t want to go thru what I once did, but I also know the keys to my happiness hides behind what I need to do. So the longer I wait and not take action, the more time goes by and I’m unhappy. So what do you do when you know what to do, but don’t want to go thru with the results. But you know once you get thru the results you will be happy you did and happy again.

I would say toughen up, you know what you need to do. The longer you sit back and wait the older you get. At this point in life you should be enjoying it, doing everything you want to do. Someone else did what you did and was unhappy for years and when they finally got out of that situation they were old, and wasn’t very much they could do. They had to be very careful with everything. You are at the point in your life now, where you don’t have to be careful with anything. Care free, and careless. There is only so much time you can do that though. Would you continue to give CPR to someone you knew was dead, if you knew you couldn’t bring them back to life? No, so why continue in a situation that you don’t want to be in, if you know it’s not going to work. Every day I come to campus I see tons of beautiful women, and the one thing I know not all of them are crazy.

You have to do what’s best for you, not what’s good for someone else. Not everything is a blessing, some things are just lessons. If you keep pretending to be something you are not, you will start to believe it. Only do what makes you happy and believe in yourself. Even if you fall again and have made the wrong decision you will get back up, and you can start over again. Don’t cry over spoiled milk, just get a napkin, clean up your mistakes, and try over again. You miss 100% of opportunity’s you don’t take.